Is a church wedding legally valid in Germany?

No. Only the civil ceremony at the registry office (_Standesamt_) makes a marriage legal in Germany. Church and free ceremonies come on top – often on the same day or the day after.

What is a Polterabend?

A party before the wedding where guests smash old porcelain in front of the couple, who then sweep up the shards together. It is often open to everyone – neighbors, colleagues, club friends – and glass and mirrors are not allowed.

How much money do you give at a German wedding?

Rough guideposts per person: €20–50 for colleagues and acquaintances, €50 and more for good friends, €100–150 and more for close family. A common rule of thumb is to cover your own food and drinks.

What do Trauzeugen do at a German wedding?

The witnesses (up to two, optional since 1998) often organize the bachelor party, the wedding newspaper, speeches and games, and the joint gift – guests are usually asked to coordinate their contributions with them.

How long does a German wedding party last?

Often until 2, 3 or 4 AM. A typical day runs from the ceremony around 2 PM via the Sektempfang, coffee and cake, dinner with speeches and the first dance to a midnight snack.

What games are played at German weddings?

Popular ones: sawing a log together, cutting a heart out of a bed sheet with nail scissors, the shoe game, a couple quiz and a photo challenge. Most couples keep it to two or three short games.

How much does a wedding in Germany cost?

On average around €17,000 (2026) for about 82 guests, but half of all couples invite fewer than 60 people. Rhineland-Palatinate, Baden-Württemberg and Berlin tend to be the most expensive regions.

German Wedding Traditions: Customs, Timeline & Registry Office

A wedding in three acts

A couple laughs at a kitchen table in a Leipzig apartment while addressing cream save-the-date cards, a cat asleep on a chair. — Save the dates at the kitchen table

A German wedding is a play in three acts as well: planning (budget, guests, the registry office, venue), the celebration (one day, sometimes two – the registry office on Friday, the big party on Saturday) and the story (photos, thank-you cards, the wedding newspaper). The first act starts long before the big day: many couples send a save the date six to eight months ahead, so guests can block the weekend and book a room. On average about 82 guests come, and a wedding costs around €17,000 – but half of all couples invite fewer than 60 people, and plenty celebrate with far less.

12–18 months beforeWhat often happens: Engagement, budget, guest list, date, venue – popular registry office locations book up a year ahead
9–12 monthsWhat often happens: Photographer, catering, music, Trauzeugen, outfits
6–9 monthsWhat often happens: Save the dates, hotel rooms for guests
6 monthsWhat often happens: Registering the marriage at the registry office, church talks
3–6 monthsWhat often happens: Invitations, menu, program, rings
4–6 weeksWhat often happens: RSVP deadline, seating plan, place cards
Last weekWhat often happens: Final headcount, timeline for vendors, rain plan

When	What often happens
12–18 months before	Engagement, budget, guest list, date, venue – popular registry office locations book up a year ahead
9–12 months	Photographer, catering, music, Trauzeugen, outfits
6–9 months	Save the dates, hotel rooms for guests
6 months	Registering the marriage at the registry office, church talks
3–6 months	Invitations, menu, program, rings
4–6 weeks	RSVP deadline, seating plan, place cards
Last week	Final headcount, timeline for vendors, rain plan

The proposal and the rings

A man kneels with a ring box on a rocky hiking trail in Saxon Switzerland while his partner laughs with her hands on her cheeks. — The proposal on the hiking trail

Proposals have become little productions in Germany too – a favorite trail in Saxon Switzerland, a city trip, a hidden photographer behind the next rock. Asking the parents for permission first is rare today and more of a sweet gesture than a rule. Engagement rings are often simple, and some couples choose matching bands for both partners. Many couples keep the engagement short and quiet: a dinner with both families, a toast with friends – the big party is saved for the wedding itself.

First stop: the registry office

A bride signs the register at a wooden table in a castle room while the groom watches and a registrar smiles across the table. — Signing at the registry office

In Germany only the civil ceremony at the Standesamt (registry office) makes the marriage legal. Couples register their wedding there in person, at the earliest six months before the date, with an ID, a certified copy from the birth register and an extended certificate of registration. After that the wedding has to take place within six months. Partners from abroad often need a certificate of no impediment from their home country – this can take months. The ceremony itself is short and often surprisingly moving: a few personal words from the registrar, the “Ja”, the rings and two signatures.

A couple steps out of a red-brick town hall in Hamburg while colleagues and neighbors wait on the steps with flowers and sparkling wine. — Congratulations on the town hall steps

Where: in the registry office itself or at an official outside location – castles, vineyards, lighthouses, even ships. A meadow of your choice only works for a free ceremony.
How long: about 20–30 minutes with a short speech by the registrar, the “Ja”, the rings and the signatures.
Who comes: often only close family and friends. Colleagues and neighbors sometimes wait outside with flowers and a tray of sparkling wine to congratulate.
Names: since May 2025 couples can choose a real double name as their shared married name – with or without a hyphen.
Witnesses: none, one or two – optional since 1998.

Parties before the party

A couple in jeans sweeps up a pile of smashed white porcelain in a farmyard at dusk while friends throw more plates. — Sweeping up at the Polterabend

Save the date: six to eight months ahead – earlier for a wedding abroad.
Polterabend: a loud party before the wedding where guests smash old porcelain – plates, cups, toilets even – in front of the couple. The couple then sweeps up the shards together, as a first test of teamwork. Traditionally it was the night before; today it’s often days or weeks ahead, in a yard, barn or club house. Invitations are often by word of mouth, and neighbors, colleagues and club friends may simply turn up. Glass and mirrors stay at home – they’re said to bring bad luck.

A bride-to-be in a short veil and her friends sell small items from a tray to amused passers-by in Cologne’s old town. — A JGA in the old town

JGA (_Junggesellenabschied_): the bachelor or bachelorette party, planned by the Trauzeugen and friends one to three months before. The classic version is a day in a city’s old town: matching T-shirts, a list of silly tasks and a little tray of sweets or shots to sell to strangers, who often join in the fun. Today many groups prefer a relaxed weekend away – a cabin, a city trip, a spa day – or one joint party for both friend groups. Guests usually pay their own share, so a good host asks early and keeps it affordable.

Neighbors of all ages bind a long fir garland with paper roses around the front door of a brick house in a Westphalian village. — Neighbors bind the Kranz

Kränzen: in parts of northern and western Germany, neighbors bind a fir garland for the couple’s front door, decorated with paper roses and often a sign with the date. It takes an afternoon, a ladder and many hands, and the couple says thank you with drinks and food – which turns it into a little street party of its own. The garland stays up for weeks; in some villages a second one follows on the silver wedding anniversary.

Who does what

The coupleBefore: Budget, decisions, invitations, vendorsOn the day: Ceremony and celebration
Trauzeugen (witnesses)Before: JGA, wedding newspaper, collecting contributions and the joint giftOn the day: Signing, rings, coordinating speeches and games
ParentsBefore: Support, sometimes fundingOn the day: Welcome speech, often the first toast
RegistrarBefore: Checking the documentsOn the day: The legal ceremony
Priest or pastor / free celebrantBefore: Talks with the couple, preparing the ceremonyOn the day: Church or free ceremony
Master of ceremonies or DJBefore: Planning the programOn the day: Announcements, music, games
PhotographerBefore: Shot list, scheduleOn the day: Capturing everything

Role	Before	On the day
The couple	Budget, decisions, invitations, vendors	Ceremony and celebration
Trauzeugen (witnesses)	JGA, wedding newspaper, collecting contributions and the joint gift	Signing, rings, coordinating speeches and games
Parents	Support, sometimes funding	Welcome speech, often the first toast
Registrar	Checking the documents	The legal ceremony
Priest or pastor / free celebrant	Talks with the couple, preparing the ceremony	Church or free ceremony
Master of ceremonies or DJ	Planning the program	Announcements, music, games
Photographer	Shot list, schedule	Capturing everything

Two witnesses plan games and speeches with three friends around a living-room table in Munich, with sticky notes on the wall. — The Trauzeugen at work

There are no bridesmaids or groomsmen in matching outfits at most German weddings. Instead the Trauzeugen do a lot of the organizing – often weeks of evenings with sticky notes, laptops and pretzels. Guests usually know the line on the invitation: “For speeches and games, please talk to our Trauzeugen.” They collect who wants to say or perform something, keep the games short and the surprises kind, organize the joint gift and make sure the DJ knows when to turn the music down. On the day they often keep the rings, the tissues and the timeline.

Church, free or both

About a third of couples celebrate a free ceremony, a third a church wedding and a third keep it to the registry office (2024 survey of over 1,200 couples). Church weddings have become less common; free ceremonies have grown fast.

A couple stands at the altar of a white and gold Baroque village church in Upper Bavaria while the priest holds the rings. — A church wedding in Bavaria

Catholic: at least one partner is Catholic. The couple has a talk with the priest, often attends a marriage preparation course and brings a recent baptism certificate. A Protestant minister can take part in a mixed-faith wedding.
Protestant: a service on the occasion of the marriage, with a conversation beforehand. Many regional churches also bless or marry same-sex couples.
The Trauspruch: church couples pick a short verse as their wedding motto – favorites are “Faith, hope and love, but the greatest of these is love” and “Where you go, I will go.” It often appears on the invitation and the order of service.

Two brides stand under a wooden arch with wildflowers on a lakeside meadow in Brandenburg while a celebrant reads from a small book. — A free ceremony by the lake

Free ceremony: a celebrant tells the couple’s story – how they met, what friends say about them, what they promise each other. It often takes place outdoors at the venue, on a meadow, by a lake or in a garden, with personal vows and rituals like a sand or wine ceremony, a hand-fasting or a letter box opened on the first anniversary. Many couples hire a celebrant a year ahead and meet them two or three times. It has no legal effect – the registry office comes first.

A couple walks out of a country church through an arch of fire hoses held up by volunteer firefighters while guests throw petals. — A guard of honor from the fire brigade

Afterwards guests often form a Spalier – a guard of honor – for the couple to walk through: friends from the volunteer fire brigade with their hoses, the sports club with rackets or oars, the brass band with instruments, colleagues with something from work. Rice, petals or soap bubbles fly, and sometimes the couple has to solve a small task before they’re let through – sawing a log, cutting a heart or carrying each other. In villages the whole club turns up in uniform, and it’s one of the most photographed moments of the day.

Afterwards guests often form a Spalier – a guard of honor – for the couple to walk through: friends from the fire brigade, the sports club or the band, holding up hoses, rackets or instruments. Rice, petals or soap bubbles fly.

The celebration

14:00Example: ceremony at 2 PM: Ceremony
14:30Example: ceremony at 2 PM: Sektempfang: sparkling wine, congratulations, group photo
15:30Example: ceremony at 2 PM: Kaffee und Kuchen, cutting the cake
16:30Example: ceremony at 2 PM: Couple photos, a little break for the guests
18:30Example: ceremony at 2 PM: Evening guests arrive, dinner, speeches between courses
21:30Example: ceremony at 2 PM: First dance, then the party
0:00Example: ceremony at 2 PM: Midnight snack, veil dance or bouquet toss
2:00–4:00Example: ceremony at 2 PM: Open end

Time	Example: ceremony at 2 PM
14:00	Ceremony
14:30	Sektempfang: sparkling wine, congratulations, group photo
15:30	Kaffee und Kuchen, cutting the cake
16:30	Couple photos, a little break for the guests
18:30	Evening guests arrive, dinner, speeches between courses
21:30	First dance, then the party
0:00	Midnight snack, veil dance or bouquet toss
2:00–4:00	Open end

Guests in summer clothes hold glasses of sparkling wine and queue to hug a laughing couple in the courtyard of a vineyard estate. — Sektempfang on the vineyard

Sektempfang: a glass of sparkling wine right after the ceremony, while everyone lines up to congratulate the couple – hugs, handshakes, the first gifts. It’s the moment for the big group photo, often from a staircase or a ladder, and the photographer usually takes the family pictures right after. A few snacks and something alcohol-free belong on the tray. For the couple it’s the first chance to see everyone who came, so many keep the line moving and save longer talks for later.

A couple cuts a naked wedding cake with berries together beside a long cake buffet in a barn while aunts smile next to the coffee urns. — Cutting the cake at Kaffee und Kuchen

Kaffee und Kuchen: coffee and cake in the afternoon is a fixture. Besides the wedding cake there’s often a whole cake buffet with sheet cakes, Black Forest cake and fruit tarts, and aunts, grandmothers and friends bake for it. The couple cuts the wedding cake together – an old joke says whoever has their hand on top will have the say. Some venues charge a small fee per guest for homemade cakes, so it’s worth asking. Then there’s often a quiet hour for couple photos while guests chat in the garden.

The bride’s father stands with a raised glass and gives a speech at a long candlelit table in a manor house while the couple laughs. — Speeches between courses

Dinner: a buffet is common, especially at larger and rural weddings; hotels often serve a three- or four-course menu. Speeches come between courses – usually a welcome from the parents or the couple, then the Trauzeugen, friends and family. Three to seven minutes each is plenty, one embarrassing story at most. Many couples ask everyone to register their speech with the Trauzeugen, so the kitchen can time the courses and nobody waits with a cold main course.

A groom spins his bride in a waltz in a historic ballroom in Dresden while guests watch in a circle under chandeliers. — The first dance

The first dance: traditionally a Viennese waltz, today anything goes – a slow song, a rehearsed choreography that turns into a medley, or a dance class learned for the day. Many couples take a few lessons a couple of months before. It usually opens the party around 9 or 10 PM; parents and Trauzeugen are often invited to join after the first chorus, and then the dance floor belongs to everyone until long after midnight.

After midnight, barefoot guests queue at a buffet of currywurst and goulash soup in a Berlin loft while the couple shares a currywurst. — Currywurst at midnight

Midnight snack: currywurst, goulash soup, mini burgers or a cheese platter – something hearty to keep the party going, served around midnight when the first guests get hungry again. It’s also the moment for midnight customs like the veil dance or the bouquet toss. Ask the caterer early: the snack is often a separate item on the bill, and the amount depends on how many guests will still be there after midnight – usually more than you think.

Customs you might meet

BrautentführungWhat happens: Friends “kidnap” the bride to a pub; the groom has to find her and pay the bill or solve tasks to free her
Wedding newspaperWhat happens: Friends write a newspaper about the couple – stories, photos, interviews – and sell it at the party
Veil danceWhat happens: At midnight unmarried guests try to tear off a piece of the bride’s veil while dancing – a piece is said to bring luck
Bride’s shoe auctionWhat happens: Guests bid for one of the bride’s shoes; the money goes to the honeymoon
Bouquet tossWhat happens: Whoever catches it is said to marry next

Custom	What happens
Brautentführung	Friends “kidnap” the bride to a pub; the groom has to find her and pay the bill or solve tasks to free her
Wedding newspaper	Friends write a newspaper about the couple – stories, photos, interviews – and sell it at the party
Veil dance	At midnight unmarried guests try to tear off a piece of the bride’s veil while dancing – a piece is said to bring luck
Bride’s shoe auction	Guests bid for one of the bride’s shoes; the money goes to the honeymoon
Bouquet toss	Whoever catches it is said to marry next

Guests at a round table in a country inn laugh over a homemade wedding newspaper with childhood photos of the couple. — Reading the wedding newspaper

At midnight, unmarried guests dance around a laughing bride and pull at her long tulle veil in a festively lit village hall. — The veil dance at midnight

None of these is a must, and many couples skip what they don’t like – the Brautentführung in particular isn’t everyone’s favorite. Many couples simply tell their Trauzeugen which customs are welcome. The wedding newspaper is a lovely exception that hardly anyone minds: friends collect stories, interviews and childhood photos for months, sell the copies at the party and hand the money to the couple. At midnight comes the veil dance, where unmarried guests try to tear off a piece of the veil – a lucky charm for whoever catches one. Other customs are louder: the Brautschuhversteigerung auctions one of the bride’s shoes for the honeymoon fund, the bouquet toss decides who marries next, and in some families the groom’s friends “steal” the bride’s shoe until he buys it back with a round of drinks. A good rule for all of them: short, kind, and announced to the Trauzeugen first.

Wedding games

Two friends hold up a white bed sheet with a big painted red heart while the couple cuts it out with small scissors. — Cutting out the heart

Games are part of many German weddings – usually organized by the Trauzeugen or friends, often as a surprise for the couple. Some happen right after the ceremony in front of the church or registry office: the couple saws through a log, or cuts a big heart out of a bed sheet with nail scissors, slowly and together, before one carries the other through the hole. Others come between dinner and the first dance, when the room is warm and everyone is ready to laugh. The best games are short, involve the guests and leave the couple with a story rather than a bruise.

Sawing a logHow it works: Right after the ceremony the couple saws through a tree trunk on a sawhorse with a two-handed saw. It only works if both pull in turn – a first test of teamwork, cheered on by the guests
Cutting out a heartHow it works: Two friends hold up a bed sheet with a heart painted on it, and the couple cuts it out with nail scissors – slowly, together. Then one carries the other through the hole: the first step into married life
Shoe gameHow it works: The couple sit back to back, each holding one of their own shoes and one of the partner’s. A friend asks questions (“Who is the better cook?”, “Who said ‘I love you’ first?”), and both raise the shoe of whoever it applies to
Couple quizHow it works: Tables compete with questions about the couple – where they met, the first holiday, the name of the first pet
Photo challengeHow it works: Every table gets a list of photos to take during the evening (“the couple laughing”, “someone dancing with grandma”) – a bonus album for the couple
Wedding ABC or guestbook puzzleHow it works: Guests write a wish for each letter, or sign a puzzle piece that the couple later puts together

Game	How it works
Sawing a log	Right after the ceremony the couple saws through a tree trunk on a sawhorse with a two-handed saw. It only works if both pull in turn – a first test of teamwork, cheered on by the guests
Cutting out a heart	Two friends hold up a bed sheet with a heart painted on it, and the couple cuts it out with nail scissors – slowly, together. Then one carries the other through the hole: the first step into married life
Shoe game	The couple sit back to back, each holding one of their own shoes and one of the partner’s. A friend asks questions (“Who is the better cook?”, “Who said ‘I love you’ first?”), and both raise the shoe of whoever it applies to
Couple quiz	Tables compete with questions about the couple – where they met, the first holiday, the name of the first pet
Photo challenge	Every table gets a list of photos to take during the evening (“the couple laughing”, “someone dancing with grandma”) – a bonus album for the couple
Wedding ABC or guestbook puzzle	Guests write a wish for each letter, or sign a puzzle piece that the couple later puts together

A couple sits back to back on two chairs in a barn, each holding up a shoe, while a friend reads questions and guests laugh. — The shoe game

Guests at a round table lean together for a selfie with the grandmother, a card with photo tasks beside the candles. — A photo challenge at the table

A few house rules most couples are grateful for: no more than two or three games, ten minutes each, nothing embarrassing – and everything announced to the Trauzeugen first, so the timeline and the kitchen aren’t surprised. The shoe game is a safe bet: the couple sits back to back, each holding one of their own shoes and one of the partner’s, and raises the right one for questions like “Who cooks better?”. A photo challenge keeps the tables busy all evening and fills an album the couple would never have taken themselves. Balloon releases have fallen out of favor; many venues and towns don’t allow them anymore because of litter. Good alternatives: wishing cards that guests fill in and the couple opens on their first anniversary, a guestbook puzzle, or a song the whole room sings with the lyrics on the tables. And if a game goes wrong, the Trauzeugen are there to end it with a smile.

Money gifts and thank-you cards

A gift table with a wooden card box shaped like a mailbox, envelopes, a small money tree and a little suitcase with an airplane drawn on it. — Money gifts on the gift table

Money is the most common wedding gift in Germany. Couples often say what it’s for – the honeymoon, a new kitchen, the garden – and guests fold the notes into origami hearts, money trees or little suitcases with an airplane drawn on. Many venues set up a card box or a small mailbox for envelopes, and the Trauzeugen keep an eye on it during the party. A classic gift list at a department store has become rare, since most couples already live together; a short wish list for guests who don’t like giving money is a kind addition.

Colleagues and acquaintancesOften given per person: €20–50
Good friendsOften given per person: €50 and more
Close familyOften given per person: €100–150 and more

Relationship	Often given per person
Colleagues and acquaintances	€20–50
Good friends	€50 and more
Close family	€100–150 and more

A couple on a sofa writes thank-you cards with photos from their wedding spread on the coffee table. — Writing thank-you cards

These are rough guideposts – a common rule of thumb is to cover your own food and drinks. Evening guests usually give less, and at the Polterabend gifts are rare. Thank-you cards go out a few weeks after the wedding, often as a photo card with a handwritten line – and never with an amount, at most with what the money made possible. Many couples wait until the photographer’s pictures arrive and then write them together on a quiet weekend afternoon, card by card, with one personal line for every household.

Regional flavors

BavariaCustoms you might see: A Hochzeitslader, Tracht (dirndl and lederhosen) welcome, a Weißwurst breakfast, brass music and the Brautentführung at the village inn
Swabia and FranconiaCustoms you might see: A guard of honor from the local clubs, a big cake buffet baked by relatives
The NorthCustoms you might see: Big, open Polterabend parties, neighbors binding the Kranz for the front door
Rhineland and WestphaliaCustoms you might see: Polterabend, the Kranz, a guard of honor from the marksmen’s club – and lots of singing
The EastCustoms you might see: Sawing the log is especially common, Polterabend and the wedding newspaper too

Region	Customs you might see
Bavaria	A Hochzeitslader, Tracht (dirndl and lederhosen) welcome, a Weißwurst breakfast, brass music and the Brautentführung at the village inn
Swabia and Franconia	A guard of honor from the local clubs, a big cake buffet baked by relatives
The North	Big, open Polterabend parties, neighbors binding the Kranz for the front door
Rhineland and Westphalia	Polterabend, the Kranz, a guard of honor from the marksmen’s club – and lots of singing
The East	Sawing the log is especially common, Polterabend and the wedding newspaper too

Guests in dirndls and lederhosen raise beer glasses at long wooden tables with white sausages and pretzels in a Bavarian inn. — A Weißwurst breakfast in Bavaria

A couple walks hand in hand along a dike on the North Sea coast after their wedding, a striped lighthouse and sheep behind them. — On the dike at the North Sea

Every region has its own mood. In Bavaria a wedding can start with a Weißwurst breakfast in the village inn, dirndls and lederhosen, a brass band and a Hochzeitslader who knows every verse. On the North Sea coast couples marry in lighthouses and walk along the dike with sheep for company and the wind in the veil. Costs differ by region as well: weddings in Rhineland-Palatinate, Baden-Württemberg and Berlin tend to cost the most, in Saxony-Anhalt and Thuringia the least – and Munich and Hamburg are in a league of their own. In the East, sawing the log is almost a must and the wedding newspaper sells out by midnight; in the Rhineland the marksmen’s club forms the guard of honor and the evening ends with everyone singing. Wherever you marry, ask locals what’s usual – and borrow what you love.

International couples

A newly married German-Korean couple walks down the steps of Copenhagen City Hall while friends throw petals. — Married in Copenhagen

About one marriage in ten in Germany is binational – one partner German, the other not. Their partners most often come from Turkey, Italy and Poland (2022). Love across borders brings a little more paperwork, so international couples usually start earlier: documents from two countries, translations and sometimes an exemption from the court. Some couples skip the German paperwork and marry in Denmark, where fewer documents are needed and dates are quick to get, then celebrate at home with both families.

A sworn interpreter stands beside a German-Brazilian couple and translates quietly while the registrar reads in a registry office in Hanover. — With a sworn interpreter

Certificate of no impediment: a partner from abroad usually needs one from their home country. If the country doesn’t issue it, the president of the Higher Regional Court (OLG) can grant an exemption – requested through the registry office, valid for six months.
Documents: foreign certificates need a sworn translation and, depending on the country, an apostille or legalization.
Interpreter: if a partner or witness doesn’t speak enough German, a sworn interpreter has to be there – at the registration and the ceremony. The couple books and pays for them.
Names: couples can choose the name law of one partner’s home country – it’s worth asking that country’s authorities whether they’ll recognize the choice.
Marrying abroad: a wedding abroad is valid in Germany. Registering it at the local registry office afterwards gives you a German marriage certificate.
Guests from abroad: guests who need a visa apply for a Schengen visitor visa. Embassies often ask for a formal obligation letter (Verpflichtungserklärung) from the host – plan months ahead.

Many heritages, one wedding

Many couples in Germany bring two or more heritages to the table – and celebrate both. The customs below show up often, but none describes every couple of a background, and every family mixes them in its own way.

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Turkish-GermanKına gecesi (henna night) before the wedding, mostly for women; a hall wedding with hundreds of guests, drums (davul) and shawm (zurna), halay dancing; at the takı guests pin gold or banknotes on the couple. As a guest: Bring gold or money rather than a gift from a list; expect a big, loud party
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Russian-GermanA Tamada hosts toasts and games; the couple is welcomed with bread and salt – whoever bites off more “has the say”; guests shout “Gorko!” until the couple kisses; the bride’s shoe gets stolen. As a guest: Many toasts – pace yourself
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PolishParents welcome the couple with bread and salt; at midnight the oczepiny – the bride gives up her veil, with games; often a poprawiny, a second party the next day. As a guest: Money in an envelope is the usual gift; the night is long
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ItalianBomboniere – sugared almonds in odd numbers, usually five, as a thank-you; envelopes collected in a satin bag (la busta). As a guest: An envelope is the classic gift
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Greek OrthodoxThe couple is crowned with stefana joined by a ribbon; the koumbaros or koumbara swaps the crowns three times and often becomes godparent later. As a guest: Plate smashing is a taverna thing, not a wedding must
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Serbian, Croatian, BosnianThe kum and kuma as witnesses and godparents, a flag bearer leading the procession, the kolo chain dance with rakija. As a guest: Join the kolo – everyone does
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RomanianThe nași (godparents) sit with the couple; the hora circle dance. As a guest: The nași are honored guests – greet them
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JewishThe chuppah canopy, the ketubah marriage contract, the groom breaks a glass – and everyone shouts “Mazel tov!”. As a guest: Men may be offered a kippah at the ceremony
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Same-sex couplesMarriage for all has been the law since 1 October 2017; about 3% of weddings are between two men or two women. As a guest: Like any wedding – no special rules

Couples who bring two families together often merge their customs: a henna night and a Polterabend, a waltz followed by a halay, a Tamada who switches between two languages, bomboniere next to the cake buffet. Christian–Muslim couples can, depending on the church, have a church wedding with a dispensation or an interfaith blessing – the registry office comes first in any case.

Dress codes, decoded

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Black TieTuxedo, floor-length evening gown – rare
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Festlich (festive)Dark suit, often with a tie; elegant dress or jumpsuit
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CocktailSuit with or without a tie, knee- to midi-length dress
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Sommerlich elegantLight suit or linen, summer dress, flat or block heels
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Tracht willkommenDirndl and lederhosen are welcome – common in Bavaria

A few unwritten rules: white stays reserved for the bride in most families. Free ceremonies often happen on a lawn, so stilettos sink – and the nights get cool after midnight. With a party until 3 AM, comfortable shoes in the bag are a pro move.

How JustMarried helps

We built JustMarried for weddings with many events, many guests and many traditions – and a German wedding is exactly that:

Several events with their own guests: the registry office, the Polterabend, the ceremony, the party or a henna night – as events you name yourself. Each guest sees only the events their household is invited to, so day and evening guests each get the right times.
RSVPs per person and event, with plus-ones, kids and friendly reminders for anyone who hasn’t answered.
A day-of timeline with your own moments – Sektempfang, cake, first dance, midnight snack – a page for each speaker and a run-of-show page for vendors.
Seating with “together” and “apart” rules, plus table cards and “Find your seat.”
Funds for your wishes like the honeymoon – guests pledge, no money passes through us – and thank-you cards per household.
A wedding website with your story, schedule, venues, travel and FAQ, plus guest photos and a photo wall for the party.

Questions & answers

Is a church wedding legally valid in Germany?: No. Only the civil ceremony at the registry office (Standesamt) makes a marriage legal in Germany. Church and free ceremonies come on top – often on the same day or the day after.
When do you register a wedding at the German registry office?: At the earliest six months before the date, in person, with an ID, a certified copy from the birth register and an extended certificate of registration. The wedding then has to take place within six months.
What is a Polterabend?: A party before the wedding where guests smash old porcelain in front of the couple, who then sweep up the shards together. It is often open to everyone – neighbors, colleagues, club friends – and glass and mirrors are not allowed.
How much money do you give at a German wedding?: Rough guideposts per person: €20–50 for colleagues and acquaintances, €50 and more for good friends, €100–150 and more for close family. A common rule of thumb is to cover your own food and drinks.
What do Trauzeugen do at a German wedding?: The witnesses (up to two, optional since 1998) often organize the bachelor party, the wedding newspaper, speeches and games, and the joint gift – guests are usually asked to coordinate their contributions with them.
How long does a German wedding party last?: Often until 2, 3 or 4 AM. A typical day runs from the ceremony around 2 PM via the Sektempfang, coffee and cake, dinner with speeches and the first dance to a midnight snack.
What games are played at German weddings?: Popular ones: sawing a log together, cutting a heart out of a bed sheet with nail scissors, the shoe game, a couple quiz and a photo challenge. Most couples keep it to two or three short games.
How much does a wedding in Germany cost?: On average around €17,000 (2026) for about 82 guests, but half of all couples invite fewer than 60 people. Rhineland-Palatinate, Baden-Württemberg and Berlin tend to be the most expensive regions.

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Weddings in Germany

At a glance